How would you define love? Here are some of my favorite definitions:
Love: Defined.
- "You love, love, love when you know I can't love." -Of Monsters and Men lyrics
- "A strong feeling of constant affection for something." -Merriam Webster
- "Nature's way of tricking people into reproduction." -Urban Dictionary
- "[Love] is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken." - C.S Lewis
- "Giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to." -Urban Dictionary
- "Can change a person the way a parent changes a baby: awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess." -Lemony Snicket
- "A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." -Dictionary.com
- "Me." -Will Rose
What is love? One of my dear friends recently asked himself this question. He oddly found the answer in his Bob Jones Geometry book: "The unselfish desire for the best interests of another." And I think that is a beautiful definition. To love someone is to put yourself on the line, desiring the absolute best for someone else, all at your cost. To love is to invest unsafely, as C.S Lewis said above. To love is risky. It is to put your selfishness aside; to cast away your hopes, fears, dreams, desires, and inhibitions in hopes that someone else's life will be bettered. It is to put yourself at the risk of being sorely disappointed, lied to, spat upon, trampled on, deceived, cast aside. Love is a risky thing that, if abused, can hurt more than death itself.
That leads me to ask, why do people value love so highly, then? Why would a society be obsessed with something that can destroy someone utterly and completely? I have come up with two answers.
1) Society has no idea what love truly is. My dear friend that I mentioned above discovered that, in his life, he had a misconception of love. So many of us think that love is meant to make us happy, complete, and fulfilled. We can "love" someone desperately, and then when their interests don't line up with ours and things go wrong, love turns into anger and rage. Breakup after breakup, we go through life wishing we could find true love; it never occurs to us that maybe we have not given true love. We become angry with those who have mistreated us in the past, and we no longer love them. I contend that this is not real love. I also contend that I am guilty of not displaying true love. Until recently, I have not allowed myself to love someone fully, deeply, recklessly, selflessly. Along with the majority of society, I have believed that true love is what makes me happy, safe, complete. And now, I am broken. Broken over the fact that I have loved safely, shallowly, cautiously, selfishly. Broken, because I profess to love Christ and love others as He loved, and yet I do not know the simplest, basic facets of the love I profess to know.
2) Part of society does know what love truly is, and they choose to love anyway because love is beautiful. These people are amazing. They are the hands and feet of Jesus in our world. They understand the risks of love. Perhaps they have even been deeply hurt by it before. And yet, they still choose to love, because they know what matters. Francis Chan once said in his book Crazy Love, "God's definition of what matters is pretty straightforward. He measures our lives by how we love." I adore that quote. God doesn't measure our lives by our good works, how many hours we spent praying, how many Bible verses we memorized. He measures our lives based on how we did what He did: love people. The people that know the risks of love and yet still choose to love do so for one reason: they have experienced true love. They have experienced the reckless, passionate, deep, life-changing love of God. Anyone who has experienced this overwhelming love and grace is so moved that they honestly have one choice remaining: to go forth and love others like they have been loved.
When I realized that, I had to ask myself if I had truly allowed myself to experience the incredible love of the Father. Was I loving selfishly because I did not want to experience the mind-blowing love of God? Did I not want to fully experience that love because I was afraid? Was I afraid that experiencing His love would make me change?
The answer was yes. I was afraid. Afraid to love, to be loved. I was afraid because I didn't want to be moved from my safe, dry, comfortable box where I store my fragile heart. I was afraid to put my heart on the line. I rationalized that I had put my heart on the line before, and it had been broken. Not once, not twice; many times. Sometimes by friends, sometimes by family, sometimes by lovers, but in any case, I did not want to go through that pain again. And yet Christ has done that for me. He has invested in me, loved me when I could not love Him, saved me when I didn't want it, held me in His arms when I was falling apart. And all the while, I turned away. Spat in His face. Swore I did not need His help. Cursed His name. And yet, every morning I find His mercies anew. I find His love yet unchanged: still offered radiantly each day, even though for years I have steadily denied its existence and my need for it.
I will conclude with a glorious quote from C.S Lewis. “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours'. Enable my selfish, shallow heart to love like the passionate, reckless, overwhelming love You have shown me. Enable me to love despite the risks. Enable me to be vulnerable.
In my humble opinion,
~Emily
That leads me to ask, why do people value love so highly, then? Why would a society be obsessed with something that can destroy someone utterly and completely? I have come up with two answers.
1) Society has no idea what love truly is. My dear friend that I mentioned above discovered that, in his life, he had a misconception of love. So many of us think that love is meant to make us happy, complete, and fulfilled. We can "love" someone desperately, and then when their interests don't line up with ours and things go wrong, love turns into anger and rage. Breakup after breakup, we go through life wishing we could find true love; it never occurs to us that maybe we have not given true love. We become angry with those who have mistreated us in the past, and we no longer love them. I contend that this is not real love. I also contend that I am guilty of not displaying true love. Until recently, I have not allowed myself to love someone fully, deeply, recklessly, selflessly. Along with the majority of society, I have believed that true love is what makes me happy, safe, complete. And now, I am broken. Broken over the fact that I have loved safely, shallowly, cautiously, selfishly. Broken, because I profess to love Christ and love others as He loved, and yet I do not know the simplest, basic facets of the love I profess to know.
2) Part of society does know what love truly is, and they choose to love anyway because love is beautiful. These people are amazing. They are the hands and feet of Jesus in our world. They understand the risks of love. Perhaps they have even been deeply hurt by it before. And yet, they still choose to love, because they know what matters. Francis Chan once said in his book Crazy Love, "God's definition of what matters is pretty straightforward. He measures our lives by how we love." I adore that quote. God doesn't measure our lives by our good works, how many hours we spent praying, how many Bible verses we memorized. He measures our lives based on how we did what He did: love people. The people that know the risks of love and yet still choose to love do so for one reason: they have experienced true love. They have experienced the reckless, passionate, deep, life-changing love of God. Anyone who has experienced this overwhelming love and grace is so moved that they honestly have one choice remaining: to go forth and love others like they have been loved.
When I realized that, I had to ask myself if I had truly allowed myself to experience the incredible love of the Father. Was I loving selfishly because I did not want to experience the mind-blowing love of God? Did I not want to fully experience that love because I was afraid? Was I afraid that experiencing His love would make me change?
The answer was yes. I was afraid. Afraid to love, to be loved. I was afraid because I didn't want to be moved from my safe, dry, comfortable box where I store my fragile heart. I was afraid to put my heart on the line. I rationalized that I had put my heart on the line before, and it had been broken. Not once, not twice; many times. Sometimes by friends, sometimes by family, sometimes by lovers, but in any case, I did not want to go through that pain again. And yet Christ has done that for me. He has invested in me, loved me when I could not love Him, saved me when I didn't want it, held me in His arms when I was falling apart. And all the while, I turned away. Spat in His face. Swore I did not need His help. Cursed His name. And yet, every morning I find His mercies anew. I find His love yet unchanged: still offered radiantly each day, even though for years I have steadily denied its existence and my need for it.
I will conclude with a glorious quote from C.S Lewis. “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours'. Enable my selfish, shallow heart to love like the passionate, reckless, overwhelming love You have shown me. Enable me to love despite the risks. Enable me to be vulnerable.
In my humble opinion,
~Emily
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