Dear you,
“I’m like the rack of
your brassier – I always seem to falter, and the words just get in the way.”
-Amos
Lee lyrics
We’ve been together for quite a while now. Not romantically
“together”, but just together. In friendship. In a sort of life-partnership
way. Just as two kids, who slightly hate each other, tackling life together. I
love how we kind of hate each other and how we hate all the same things. And
because we hate the same things, we love each other. Our relationship is quirky
and no one understands it, except us. Our friends think we’re crazy. People get
concerned about us. People come up to us and ask. They wonder if we’re okay.
And sometimes, we aren’t okay. I get really ticked at you
sometimes. You get really ticked at me sometimes. Sometimes we don’t even tell
each other how ticked off we get. But we always tell everyone else how ticked
off we are. Maybe that’s why people are concerned. I’m not entirely sure.
We’re not very loyal to each other, you and me. We stab each
other in the back. I don’t know if you ever feel that way, but I do. I know
I’ve stabbed you in the back before. And for that, I’m sorry. The thing is, I
kind of care about what you think. I’m not always conscious of that fact. But I
do care. And sometimes I am so scared of telling you when I’m angry at you,
because…well, I don’t know. I’m kind of scared of how you’ll react; I’m scared
of hurting our friendship; I’m scared of hurting you. Even though I don’t act
like I care, I do. I don’t know why I talk to everybody else before I talk to
you. I shouldn’t do that. I should get over this fear of hurting you, because
the backstabbing hurts you worse.
I have lots of “adopted siblings”. But maybe you’re most
realistically my sibling. We’ve spent that much time together, and we’ve fought
enough. We look nothing alike and our personalities are insanely different. We
both look down on each other. (Admit it.) We both slightly hate each other. And
I’m not going to pretend that we don’t tick each other off, because we do. A
lot. I just want you to know that I actually like who you are, even though I
don’t act like it. And I love you, too. I don’t understand how much I love you.
I don’t understand it because it so inaccurately reflects my actions towards
you. We’re jerks to each other 80% of the time. And yet I really love you, and
it’s weird, and it’s awesome, and nobody understands this dynamic except us.
We’re cool. Bowties are cool. Cheers to us, and cheers to
the oddness.
-
In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him
ReplyDelete~Ender's Game
It doesn't exactly fit at all hah, but your's reminded me of it, Great job!