To all you kids.

To the kid who’s struggling to make it today. To the kid who doesn’t think they can take it anymore. To the kid who isn’t going to eat today. To the kid who is going to hurt themselves tonight. To the kid who hasn’t slept well in weeks. To the kid who feels like they’re falling apart. To the kid who exists haunted by the decisions they made yesterday. To the kid who just wants it all to be okay. To the kid choking on reality. To the kid who wants to be happy, just for a split second. To the kid who can’t get over the shame and regret.

Please. You are beautiful. Your soul is beautiful. Trust me. Your pain is maddening and the hurt is suffocating. The shame is taking over and blocking the light out. Tiny fissures and miniscule cracks show on the surface, revealing an overwhelming sea swimming with regrets on the inside. I know because I have felt those same fissures myself. I know because, every now and then, when it storms, I get swept into that sea of regret too. But you don’t have to stay there. You don’t deserve to stay there. There are some things you should know.

That same pain, weakness, and regret have done something incredible inside of you. They have made you alive. The same hurts that threaten to break you are the very indications that there is hope left. Crazy paradox, isn’t it? Pain makes us alive. It forces us to feel. It forces us to realize that we are still alive and breathing and feeling and experiencing.

Pain does not allow us to be superficial.

“And now, I finally know what it feels like

To risk everything and still survive

When you’re standing on the battlefield

And all the pain is real

That’s when you realize that you must have done something right

‘Cause you’ve never felt so alive.”

-Leader of the Broken Hearts by Papa Roach

The fact that you are hurting is indicative of life. You may be broken, but so long as you can feel, so long as you’re even breathing, gosh dang it; you know you’re alive. Press on and keep breathing. Keep living. Keep tasting each moment. Keep allowing yourself to feel everything; make yourself feel everything. Don’t let yourself suppress the hurt. Don’t let yourself become numb. Feel. Experience. Breathe. Relish being alive. Relish feeling. Relish the bittersweet realization that hurt indicates your very existence.

Realizing existence is sometimes an incredible realization. The fact that you’re here, alive, feeling and breathing and seeing and hearing and knowing and being known, is a beautiful existence.

I’ve been there. I know that feeling hurt seems like a rather crappy existence.

But please, dear. Hold on to that hope that it will be okay one day. Wait on time. Wait for the hurt to pass. Defy it. Love yourself, because you are wonderful. Know that you are being transformed into a truly lovely person; one who is not superficial, who has known hurt and pain and shame and regret, and yet one who keeps fighting. You aren’t paper. You know reality and you know hurt. That renders a tender, compassionate, empathetic person. It renders you to be real. It renders to feel the hurt of the people you meet everyday and share their load with them.

It renders you to be anything but superficial. And that is a beautiful thing.

You’re breathing. It may not seem like much, but some days, that is the sole most incredible miracle and realization in the entire world. The fact that you’re breathing opens up a whole other world. Breath is opportunity. Breath is a miracle in and of itself. Breath is a miracle that is a constant reminder that, so long as you’re existing, things could get better. Any moment.

Breath is beautiful.

And so are you. So just breathe, beautiful. That is all I require of you. Wait for the opportunities. Wait on time. And so long as you are breathing, you have those two things. You have opportunity and you have time and you have a future. It won’t be perfect. It won’t be easy. It might suck on some days. But you are incredible, and real, and not superficial, and you have made it so freaking far. You can do this. Maybe not alone, but you don’t have to do anything alone.

As someone told me yesterday, “Friends are here to help you carry your cross when you can’t carry it by yourself.”

Remember that. And breathe. Please. For me.

In my humble opinion, you are lovely, and I hope your future is as lovely as you are.

-yours truly.