"When did we become such pathetic people?"
-Elliot and J.D in Scrubs
I just received an email from a friend, and it sparked some thoughts. He told me that he wasn't happy. He remembered being happy around last July and August, but something had cracked since then, and he couldn't pinpoint it.
Ever been unhappy and you have no idea why?
I will confess: I didn't even know how to be happy until this spring. I went into this year with several goals, and one overriding theme: figure out how to be happy. I spent the early winter months working through my parent's recent separation and the events that precipitated it. Maybe this wouldn't be the best time to find happiness after all. But all of the sudden, it was. Nothing in my life was perfect, but somehow, something was just working for me. A friend asked me how I was in late March. And I realized that I was happy. It had happened. I did it. I was happy.
But I quickly realized how weird happiness is. I found that "happiness" is more accurately described as a conglomeration of satisfaction, confidence, cooperative circumstances, your personal grasp of hope, and endorphin releases. And if any one of those things flips out of balance, stuff can get tricky again.
Happiness is a myth. Nobody knows how to make it last. Nobody knows exactly what it is or how to keep it. Everybody chases it, and some people find it; others do not. Happiness is an elusive creature that every human has hunted throughout their entire existence. But what is it? Why is it important? How could some people find it and others find it consistently evasive?
Why does happiness ebb and flow?
Happiness does come and go. Sometimes, you're just unhappy, and there is no explanation or cure. Yet other times, happiness springs upon you and there is no explanation for that either. I've found that happiness is, at its core, unpredictable. And yet I have found that is also a skill. Happiness is a skill. Learning to recognize beauty in the ashes and yet seeing that life is not comprised of ashes - that is a skill. Choosing to fight for hopes yet unseen - that is a skill.
Realizing that if it weren't for sadness, we wouldn't even recognize happiness - that is a skill.
My mom used to tell me that happiness is not a right. And I think that's correct You aren't entitled to feeling happy. But you are entitled to the pursuit of it. You're entitled to chasing it, choosing it, and fighting for it as much as you please.
Yet ultimately, I think it is the method by which you pursue happiness that truly determines happiness.
I have seen others pursue happiness with an unabashed selfishness. They stepped on the happiness of others' simply to ensure their own. And I think any happiness gained from that is shallow. But I've also seen people pursue happiness with yet a keen appreciation for the happiness of others'. And that is beautiful. In my personal experience, the individuals who pursue happiness without crushing that of others' find themselves the most happy. Wisdom determines that fine line.
So as for being happy, I guess you just have to choose it. But you also have to fight for it, and yet with wisdom. You have to harness your own pursuit of it. You have to realize that happiness ebbs and flows, and that's okay. You have to understand that happiness may not last forever, but neither does unhappiness. You have to understand that happiness can be circumstantial, but that circumstances can't rob you of hope. And ultimately, maybe an ever-steady hope determines happiness.
Realizing that if it weren't for sadness, we wouldn't even recognize happiness - that is a skill.
My mom used to tell me that happiness is not a right. And I think that's correct You aren't entitled to feeling happy. But you are entitled to the pursuit of it. You're entitled to chasing it, choosing it, and fighting for it as much as you please.
Yet ultimately, I think it is the method by which you pursue happiness that truly determines happiness.
I have seen others pursue happiness with an unabashed selfishness. They stepped on the happiness of others' simply to ensure their own. And I think any happiness gained from that is shallow. But I've also seen people pursue happiness with yet a keen appreciation for the happiness of others'. And that is beautiful. In my personal experience, the individuals who pursue happiness without crushing that of others' find themselves the most happy. Wisdom determines that fine line.
So as for being happy, I guess you just have to choose it. But you also have to fight for it, and yet with wisdom. You have to harness your own pursuit of it. You have to realize that happiness ebbs and flows, and that's okay. You have to understand that happiness may not last forever, but neither does unhappiness. You have to understand that happiness can be circumstantial, but that circumstances can't rob you of hope. And ultimately, maybe an ever-steady hope determines happiness.
Also, coffee is great for a massive dopamine release.
-Romans 5:2 ESV
No comments:
Post a Comment