The Gambling Woman: A Cautionary Tale

I'm not a gambling woman, but at one point in my youth, you'd have thought I lived at the casino the way I was playing my odds. I could've won Academy Awards with my poker face. I was living in a trance: so catastrophically abandoned from wisdom, untethered from reality, and even estranged from my own identity. With a silver tongue, I rationalized and convinced myself that rosy appearances could eclipse the darkness of the situation. I chose the Proverbs 12:15 life: “The way of the arrogant fool, who rejects God’s wisdom, is always right in his own eyes: but the wise and prudent man listens to counsel."

Or...no. Maybe I was living the Proverbs 18:2 life:"A fool does not enjoy wisdom and discernment, but is only interested in airing his own opinions and revealing his own mind." That was me throughout young adulthood: at the time, my choices felt so "right" (ah, the heart is deceitful above all things...!) that I didn't "need" to be teachable. Didn't need to be grounded: just convinced of my own folly. From the outside, I looked confident, happy, "blessed and highly favored"...but there is a sort of confidence that only fools embody. It's a brazenness that seems like strength on the outside, but Scripture disagrees. 

And sometimes...everyone else does, too.

You know when it seems like your circle is "against you", disapproving of your choices, cautioning against pitfalls, warning you of danger? We convince ourselves that our former “circle” is now comprised of enemies, carrying out tests, trials, even temptations. We assure our own minds that we are the target of spiritual warfare, undoubtedly because the enemy wants to destroy your happiness! Somehow we, as Christians, delude ourselves into thinking negative consequences are merely attacks from the enemy. By creating, perpetuating, and reinforcing such misnomers, we sow deceit and chaos. Which leads to reaping deceit and chaos…but it’s just spiritual warfare, right?! 

Of course, sometimes we DO experience spiritual warfare: a personal "Job moment". But most of the time, when counsel questions your character and choices, it's not an enemy attack. Most of the time, this phenomenon occurs because you're being an idiot and everyone else can see it except for you, your pride, and other arrogant fools just like you.

Wait, maybe that's harsh. It wasn't my plan to call my readers arrogant fools today...

But I’d rather call you a fool now than stand idly by, watching as you mock your Creator, blissfully unaware of the eternal danger with which you flirt. God is so all-encompassing, majestic and flawless that He can not be mocked; in fact He will not be mocked. Galatians 6:7 is not a suggestion: it is a fact woven into the very fabric of our reality.

“Whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”  

Ouch.

A few years ago, in my imprudent youth, I casually sowed blindness, pride, and false piety. I didn’t mean to. Well…let’s be honest here…like most of us, I didn’t think “karma” would catch up to me. Sure, we can say we didn’t “mean to” do wrong, but what are we really saying? Perhaps…”I didn’t intend to reap the consequences of my foolishness because I gaslit myself into believing sin is fun, normal, attractive even. We mock God by misnomering His holiness with our own frivolous, vacant attempts at “being good enough.” We convince ourselves that our sins, our foolishness are “not that bad” and then we claim God’s favor over said behavior…? 

It’s sickening. But at the time, I too thought I was truly living in the Lord’s shadow; I counted worldly actions, beliefs and relationships as “holy” and “breathed by God”, “blessings” from Him. HA. I genuinely believed I was doing the right thing and walking in His will for me: after all, I had spent weeks and months defrauding Christ’s blamelessness to justify the prioritization of my own fleshly desires. He got my attention and rescued me, but not before I reaped confusion, heartbreak, and consequences I could not rationalize, pretend, or justify away.

I wish more women talked about that part. The part no one glamorizes. The part where you realize you’ve been the world’s biggest fool, and you did it all so nonchalantly. The part where you come to terms with the fact that you once stood in defiance of godly, wise counsel regarding the biggest decision of your life: not from strangers, but from people who loved you deeply. Especially your Heavenly Father. But also friends. Family. People who had nothing to gain from warning and cautioning you, except the hope that you would be spared pain.

And yet still…we tend to foolishly forget His holiness, His inability to make excuses, His spotless purity and selfless sacrifice so that we could share in His glory for eternity…we forget that He doesn’t say “eh, this is wrong, but I guess it’s good enough for my child.”

We forget. I forgot once. Maybe you’re forgetting right now. You’re making excuses and justifying sin and telling yourself that it’s not that bad. How could fruit from the forbidden tree taste so sweet? Surely it can’t be that bad…but, just like our sister Eve, you will always pay for it.

Bitterly.

I am desperately trying to warn you. I won’t reach out to you, but when the day comes that you finally understand and reach out to me, I will be there. Without judgment. Without anger. Without “I told you so.” Because I was exactly you. You have no idea…even in the tiniest ways, the pattern is repeating now with you. But I was once a part of that pattern. I know what it’s like to be manipulated, prideful, confused, hopeful, and nervous all at the same time. I know what it’s like to praise the Lord every day for His “blessing”, only to watch it melt into a demon. When you experience that…and you will…I’ll show you all the evidence, proof, photographs, screenshots, medical records, whatever you need to see. You’ll ask me why I didn’t show these things sooner…

Why, you ask? Because you’re unable to receive the bitter truth right now. You’re still living a lie. I know where you are right now. You’re feeling a quiet, stubborn insistence: I am right. This is God’s plan for me. Even though the Bible says it’s wrong. Even when every voice of wisdom says otherwise. Even when my conscience whispers in the night. Even when the fruit of the situation is already beginning to rot.

I know that place well. But one day your eyes will be opened too. I’m here for you when that day comes. I hope you walk away more unscathed than I did, and the ones before me…

Perhaps I’m cold and mean for hoping someone experiences the kind of “eye opening” that wrought so much pain and calamity in my life. But no. I beg to differ. I PRAY that you see the full truth and sobering reality of the demons you have embraced. It’ll be hard, but worth it. Your soul needs to see the truth. I worry that you might never see it. And sweet friend. If you never see the truth, if you forever live your life trapped in a vortex of deceit and darkness, you’ve trespassed into something incredibly dangerous…something beyond simple pride and stubbornness.

It is when conviction is no longer felt.

Romans 1:21-22 describes it like this: “Although they knew God, they became futile in their thinking…claiming to be wise, they became fools.” And later in the chapter, we see an even more sobering reality: the Roman people began to not only practice sin, but approve it. Celebrate it. Defend it. (Romans 1:32)

That is not freedom. That is not a blessing. That is the ultimate sign of judgment. It is the capital sign that the Lord has seared your conscience and left you to your own devices, to worship and fend for yourself.

Because when the Lord allows someone to continue unrestrained…when He removes the weight of conviction…that is far more terrifying than His correction.

Correction is mercy. A seared conscience is abandonment.That’s why I pray for the Lord to stop you in your tracks one day as violently as He did me. He only corrects those He loves.

I think of Proverbs 26:11 often: “Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.”

Patterns do not lie. Cycles do not lie. Character does not lie. Those are facts. Facts do not lie. No matter how much we rationalize and justify or defend our own ridiculous version of reality.

And yet…I know how easy it is to look at a person and/or situation clearly marked by destruction, folly and evil…and think to yourself, “this time will be different. I will be treated differently. My story won’t be the same as those before me.”

Oh. I vividly remember thinking I was special too. How easy it is to believe you are the exception…especially when you are emotionally invested.

Jeremiah 17:9 tells the truth we resist: “The heart is deceitful above all things…”

Not sometimes.  

Not in rare cases.  

Above all things. Don’t forget that. You can’t trust when it feels right and feels like home. We only trust that which aligns with the truth and grace of scripture. 

There is a phrase I saw recently about how there is often someone standing beside a destructive man, helping him remain exactly as he is. That truth is uncomfortable, but it is not new. Psychology calls them “enablers” or “flying monkeys”. Scripture calls them evil fools. Isaiah 5:20 warns: “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil…”  And Proverbs 14:9 says clear as day: “Fools mock at sin…” To excuse what God has already judged is not compassion or empathy for a poor sinner: it is playing with fire.

So to the person who finds themselves in a situation like this post describes…especially one who believes she sees something in him that others do not…you were wrong about me. I will not speak to you with cruelty. I will speak to you with truth and grace.

I understand more than you think.

I understand what it feels like to believe a version of someone that no one else can see.  

I understand defending someone while others shake their heads.  

I understand ignoring the quiet, persistent unease because the alternative feels too painful to face…

I also understand what comes next.

And I grieve for you my sister.

Not in a condescending way…but in a sober, honest way. Because the road you are on has an end, and it is not hidden. It is well-worn. You know what’s going to happen. You know how this story ends. Why would you look at that track record and say “yeah, I’ll take a chance on those odds!”

…maybe…you’re a gambling woman too. You’re playing with your life my love, years you will not get back. I’ll be here when it falls apart. But if you stay…if you accept evil forever…if you are able to continue without that internal check, without that spiritual resistance…then something far worse is happening. It means the warnings are being ignored long enough that they grow faint. It means that the evil that once troubled you no longer does. It means you have become the evil you once feared. It means, as Scripture says, the mind has become futile, and sin begins to feel justified.

And that is a far heavier place than experiencing the Lord’s correction.

There is still time to listen though. 

Proverbs 11:14 reminds us: “In an abundance of counselors there is safety.”  

Not isolation. Not defensiveness. Not doubling down.

Safety comes from abundance. Don’t let yourself become isolated. That’s when he likes to strike. Trust me, I know. God, in His mercy, often surrounds us with cautionary voices before He allows consequences to speak louder…

The question is whether we will hear them.

You do not have to learn the same way I did.

But if you choose not to listen, then the outcome will not be unique. It will be consistent with every warning already given. Just please know that dear friend…

Because truth does not bend to desire.  

And reality does not adjust itself to protect pride.

It simply unfolds…

Exactly as He planned.